Parenting Australia

You can help your toddler overcome shyness?

Do you have a child who finds meeting new people a challenge? Are you worried how they will fit into preschool or school? Monique Perusco State Coordinator for Good Beginnings, a families charity, has some tips to help.

It’s a common concern among many parents that their child is overly shy. Shyness often starts to reveal itself as a toddler and plays out in many different situations. Clinging to Mum and burying their head away when they’re introduced to others or playing alone at preschool are common signs that worry Mums and Dads. Whether your child is outgoing or reserved will largely depend on your child’s inborn temperament. While you should embrace your child’s different nature, if shyness is causing your toddler to withdraw from the world around them, there are things you can do to provide an environment that helps them develop their social skills and independence.

Some helpful places to start:

• Don’t label your child as shy. Your child will fulfil your expectation. Counter others with comments such as “she is friendly when she warms up. She just may need some time”

• Model for your child. Get down to eye level with the children. Show your child how to be friendly and warm with their potential new play mate.

• Give your child prompts such as “Say hello, my name is Sarah” “Say goodbye” encourage a wave if nothing else.

• In a social situation, stay with the children and help get the conversation going. “You have a lovely toy car with you Tom; Sarah has bought a toy with her too. Show him your toy Sarah”.

• Reward all efforts made, even the smallest gains. Encourage her with a beaming smile.

• Prepare your child for new situations as much as you can. Who will be there, how they might say hello and goodbye. Talk about upcoming event positively.

• Provide opportunities to socialise, especially in your own home where children will feel more comfortable. Attend regular social outings like playgroup and use the opportunities to practice social skills.

If your child is overly shy now, it doesn’t necessarily mean that they will be forever. As all children grow and learn their personalities change and develop. But whoever they are it is important for every child to know that their parents accept who they are and have confidence in them. Help your child to tackle these challenges with kindness and confidence that they will do well. And happily, shy people often develop good listening skills, so people like to have them as friends.

Good Beginnings is a national charity that provides practical, community-based parenting programs and support to ensure children get the best start in life. This Families Week (15-21 May), help other families in your community and donate at www.giveachildagoodbeginning.com.au. Just $22 will pay for one child’s week at a Good Beginnings program.

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