Parenting Australia

Hitting, biting or fighting behaviour is unacceptable at any age.

Parents find it upsetting and embarrassing, wondering what is wrong with their child and how the behaviour can be managed.

Dealing with biting and hitting depends on the age of your child. Very young children can be told “no” and removed from the situation to play somewhere else.

Slightly older kids need telling “no”, and explaining that hurts and he shouldn’t do it. This type of behaviour is almost always either attention-seeking behaviour or a result of frustration.

Different situations can lead to feelings of frustration for children. Suppose he is having trouble making himself understood, has a speech delay, or feels nobody has noticed him. However, he knows he gets a reaction when he bites or hits.

Try to understand why your child is doing this; this will help you stop this undesirable behaviour. Under no circumstances fall into the trap of biting or hitting him back so he understands how much it hurts. This strategy might make sense to you, however the message it gives him is that it is OK for his parents to bite or hit, but he can’t do it.

Children who bite need to be removed from the situation and put into time out for one minute per year of their life. Young children will not use the time to reflect on what they have done etc, but will not like being away from the family/group of friends.

For more information about STAMP OUT, or to read other articles by Laura Kiln, visit www.stampout.com.au

About the author
Laura Kiln (PgDip (CBT) (Child & Adolescence), BSc (Hons), RN, RM, RHV, NP, MHN) has more than 20 years experience in working with children, adolescents and their families and she is recognised internationally as an expert in the field of parenting.

Laura lives and works on the NSW Central Coast after moving to Australia from the UK, where she worked in London at the Institute of Psychiatry and the National Specialist Centre for Child and Adolescent Mental Health.

Having four children herself, Laura understands the demands and dramas of raising a family! Laura established STAMP OUT to help parents and children. She uses a variety of techniques, including cognitive behavioural therapy, workshops, groups and individual sessions, in a comfortable relaxed environment where kids and/or their parents can discuss problems away from the stigma that can be attached to seeking help.

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