Parenting Australia

Sharing Birth Stories, Not Birth Nightmares

I have just returned from the Connect2Mums conference in Brisbane, where I spent an amazing and fulfilling weekend learning from mothers (and some fathers) in business.

There were a few women whose businesses were created as a result of their children, and some told incredible stories of the courage it took them to become mothers. Several had been through IVF, willing to keep going back for treatment multiple times so they could count the 10 tiny fingers and toes we all need to see. One, who suffers from muscular dystrophy, spoke of how her disease had worsened as a result of pregnancy, but she had chosen to see this as an opportunity to research the disease and contribute to finding a cure for the sake of her children. And another almost died in her bid to become a mum.

It was these stories that reminded me about my own two birth stories. Several doctors have told me that I should not have been able to have one child, let alone two, due to PCOS. I had accepted that falling pregnant was not a forgone conclusion when we decided we’d like to become parents. The Connect2Mums members’ stories reminded me how much love you can feel for a person who doesn’t even exist yet, but is a thought in your mind, and then how that love blossoms as the baby grows in your body.

I have a few friends who are currently pregnant and I’ve told them about my experiences giving birth to Noah and Ethan, because I want to remind them that even though it is painful, can be drawn out and can be scary, there is a wonderful prize at the end of that road. I was lucky and had quick labours for both of the boys (2.5 hours and less), but that meant the pain was pretty intense. The key, though, was that I knew it would eventually end and I would be rewarded for my efforts.

It is very important to share experiences and swap birth stories, but not to the extent that the mum-to-be is so scared she wants to go home and rethink the whole pregnancy idea (even if it’s a bit late by then). We need to add some perspective to the discussions.

If I had only listened to my friend’s experiences I would have expected to have my babies early, be in labour for at least 20 hours and be so exhausted I would question my abilities to give birth. Instead, I had two short and intense labours, giving birth to two boys at 41 weeks and afterwards felt exhilaration, not exhaustion that I was able to achieve the feat of nourishing and birthing two healthy children.

Have you met anyone with an amazing tale of birth?

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Johanna Baker-Dowdell is mum to two boys – Noah and Ethan – and combines looking after them with her work as a blogger, journalist, writer and public relations consultant. She owns and manages Strawberry Communications which started small in the third bedroom, but has grown into its own office space (in the converted garage).

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