Parenting Australia

You might remember from a previous post that I don’t really fit into any mothering definition... SAHM, WAHM, Working mother.  I consider myself an In-Between mum, and judging by the comments on that post many of you obviously do too!  The challenge with being an “Inbetweener” is that it can sometimes feel like you have to be all things to all people. 

I am mostly-SAHM.  My eldest is now at kindy 5 days a fortnight, but apart from that my children are with me full time and have been since birth.  Under the SAHM label I expect that I should be able to manage the home and provide my children with developmentally appropriate experiences and activities.  I am partly-WAHM.  As a blogger and a writer I constantly have deadlines to meet, articles to edit, and posts to publish.  Under the WAHM label I expect that I should be able to manage my online networking and keep my inbox under control.  On a rare occasion I am also partly-Working Mother.  It’s a privilege to be able to speak at Conferences to other mothers about social media, blogging and writing, but those occasions take me right out of the home and into the business world.  As a partly-Working Mother I expect that I should be able to manage my hair (!!) and communicate intelligently to groups of women without the use of short repeated phrases. 

So, as an Inbetweener I juggle trying to manage my home with trying to manage my inbox and trying to manage my hair – and the truth is that I often drop the ball.  I fail to meet my own expectations, and I know I’m not alone in being hard on myself when this happens.

I try to limit the amount of juggling I have to do, which helps a little.  I think what I am learning though is that my expectations are what have to change most.  Sometimes it is impossible to live up to my own standards!   If I want to be a happy Inbetweener I need to relax a little and cut myself some slack.  There are only 24 hours in a day, and there is only one me.  I can’t do everything. 

I need to remind myself that it’s ok to leave the housekeeping on a day when I have lots of writing to do.  As long as my children are clothed and fed, does it matter if there are cornflakes on the floor and a pile of clean washing dumped on the couch (all day)?  And I need to remind myself that it’s not the end of the world if the turnaround time in my inbox is a week.  If I’ve been engrossed in activities with my kids, or if our little family is having a busy week, or if one of the munchkins is sick, those things have to come first.  I guess most of all I need to remind myself that being an Inbetweener is all about give and take. 

I’m working on it.

3 Comments

Feed

1. Megan @ Writing Out Loud makes this comment

   Monday, 26 July 2010

   Cath, have you been visiting my mind?! This is exactly my frustration at the moment - fitting everything in and living up to what I expect of myself (not what others expect of me - everyone else is happy with what I do!). There's always more, more, more to be done!

2. Stacey makes this comment

   Monday, 26 July 2010

   Thanks for keeping it real about your expectations on yourself. Life and mothering in particular is a juggling act and its all about what stage you're in...I like the in-between description which is in fact, a stage all in itself.
   Stace
   PS you have cornflakes I have milo, it is very hard to get off the floor if you leave it there for a few days

3. Katie Brown makes this comment

   Thursday, 29 July 2010

   This is a subject close to my heart. Great to read your blog, Cath and hear all the comments. I've been struggling a bit this week as a WAHM as I find that running a yoga business and being a working mum is a balance in itself - you really can't be seen to be stamping your feet when it all goes horribly wrong (as it did this week!) I'm finding that for some reason life seems to be extra crazy this week (maybe it's the full moon?!), but spreading yourself thin and keeping the balance is something I wrote about this week on my own blog which is at my website: www.yogababes.com.au
   Would love to know how everyone else finds (and keeps!) that balance!

Name

Email (will not be published)

Personal Web site/Blog URL

Subject

Comment

• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 

Enter the letters you see in the image.

Click to get a new image.