Parenting Australia

Tackling Bullying

6 Votes
Cath09-150
Once a silent issue, bullying is now a topic being openly tackled by schools and families around Australia.  The effects of bullying can be quite serious, not only for victims but for bullies as well.  Students who are bullied are more prone to stress, anxiety, depression and general illness.  Bullies, on the other hand, are at higher risk of using drugs and alcohol, dropping out of school, and engaging in criminal behaviour (source).  Nobody wins in the long term, and the consequences are sobering.

Given the seriousness of the issue, it is reassuring to know that as parents there are things we can do to make a difference.  There are no guarantees that we can prevent our kids from being bullied, but we can be proactive in our approach to bullying.  Although most bullying occurs in late primary school through to early highschool, there is a lot that parents can do to prepare children in younger years.

I have shared previously at Parenting Australia my thoughts on avoiding early bullying.  In talking about preparing 3 and 4 year olds I said that “children who are resilient, have good self esteem and have friends are highly unlikely to be targeted by bullies in the early years.”  I think that still holds true for our kids as they begin school, and we should continue to focus on these three areas.  Resilience is a really important life-skill which many schools are now actively teaching, but it’s important we model and encourage it at home as well.  As parents we can also show our kids first hand what a healthy self esteem looks and sounds like.

One new thing to consider though as our children get older, is that most bullying happens when there is reduced supervision. Very young children are rarely out of a parent, carer or teacher’s watchful eye, and an adult can intervene easily if the situation requires it.  This changes though as kids begin their schooling years.  Students are of course supervised in schools, but ratios of children-to-adults change, and there are more opportunities for bullying to sneak in.  Kids need to know how to handle a bullying situation when there isn’t an adult around to step in.

I think this is a tricky area for parents.  We have to start empowering our kids with the skills required when they are young, so that we can step back by the time they start school.  If we are too protective in their early years and always intervene on their behalf, we are in danger of leaving them ill equipped in the playground in the first year or two of school.  And sadly, children who are targeted early on may continue to see themselves as victims, and may continue to be bullied.

Next year my own 4-year-old will begin prep, and I will be a first time parent waving good-bye and wondering if I’ve prepared her well enough to stand on her own two feet.  One thing I do know, is that a child always does better socially, emotionally and academically when they have a great community behind them.  You can be sure that I’ll be making friends with other parents, being active in the wider school community, and endeavouring to have a great relationship with her teacher.  I think community is one of the keys to tackling bullying.

For more great information on the topic of bullying, check out Bullying. No Way! This Aussie campaign contains info for parents, teachers and students, and is put together by educational communities from around the country

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Catherine Oehlman is a SAHM currently being raised by a terrific toddler and a curious crawler. Her background in primary education, love of the mothering journey and compulsion for writing collide on her SquiggleMum blog. Cath encourages other parents from all walks of life to maximise the time they spend with their children.

 

 

3 Comments

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  1. I must say my chikd's first encounter with bullying starts in Grade 1. As you put it quite correctly, "most bullying happens when there is reduced supervision", and I think that really starts to happen whent then enter the lower primary when teacher and students ratio dropped. It's a shame, but I think the best way is by equpping our children with strategies when faced with bullying, form a strong relationship with teachers in school and other parents. Most of all, make sure we always make a time for our children when they want to chat about their day!
  2. yep - my child's first encounter was at age 7. However it was within a school that has a 1-18 teacher to child ratio, all the kids knew about it and didn't like it, the teacher knew about it, the parent of the child and I were able to talk about it, why it happened, what we could do etc. But even in this "ideal" setting, ;-) unfortunately this kid just had major problems and it didn't stop, so my child and I had to work out strategies to deal with it.:\
  3. Thanks for your comment Priscilla. I think you are right - equipping our children with strategies and ensuring we surround them with strong relationships is the way to go :-)

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