Parenting Australia

Having been through pregnancy and birth twice, I’ve been on the receiving end of some wonderful gifts and thoughtful offers of help. I almost wish I could go back to my pre-baby days and do things differently for my friends who had children before me! Until you’ve been through the experience it’s hard to know what to do and how to help. So here are my suggestions for supporting pregnant friends, or those who have recently given birth. I’d love you to add your suggestions in the comments below too!

First Timers: The first time around is always special but at the same time it’s a challenge because everything is new. Cut first timers some slack and remember that they are dealing with a whole new world of hormones, emotions and physical changes. Some women glow through pregnancy, others just endure it. And no one can tell you what birth is like, or what the first few weeks with a newborn are like. It can only be experienced.

Gifts for a first pregnancy:

• Cocoa butter
• Ginger lollies or biscuits
• Decaf coffee or herbal tea (suitable for pregnancy)
• Parenting/Baby Magazines

Support for a first pregnancy:

• Include maternity stores in shopping trips!
• Try a chick flick at her place instead of heading out
• Don’t go out to places without toilets
• Organise a fabulous baby shower

Gifts for a first baby:

• Wraps
• Nappies
• Clothes in sizes 00+
• Toys suitable for 0-12mths

Support for a first time mum:

• Cook a meal
• Offer to mind the baby while mum has a shower
• Don’t stay longer than an hour when visiting
• Bring food when you visit
• Offer to go for a walk with mum and bub

Subsequent Babies: Everything is so different with the second (and third, and fourth, and...) pregnancy. Often people don’t make a fuss the second time around, but pregnancy is hard when you have another child (or children) around your feet. Here are some ideas for supporting mums going through pregnancy and childbirth – again.

Gifts for subsequent pregnancies:

• Anything! They’ll be grateful you are celebrating with them

Support for subsequent pregnancies:

• Offer to mind older kids for obstetrician appointments
• Drop a meal around
• Offer to help with household chores like sweeping

Gifts for subsequent bubs:

• Nappies
• Baby toiletries
• Clothes in sizes 00+ if baby is the opposite sex
• Baby sitting vouchers
• Bibs

Support for mums with other kids:

• Cook a meal. Cook several!
• Offer to take older kids out to the park
• Give a small “big brother” or “big sister” gift
• Ring before dropping by and ask if she needs bread or milk picked up on the way

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Catherine Oehlman is a SAHM currently being raised by a terrific toddler and a curious crawler. Her background in primary education, love of the mothering journey and compulsion for writing collide on her SquiggleMum blog. Cath encourages other parents from all walks of life to maximise the time they spend with their children.

3 Comments

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1. Jennifer Hamilton makes this comment

   Wednesday, 26 May 2010

   [url=http://www.firststepsparenting.com
   
   We offer educational and support classes for new parents of babies 0-15mths.

2. Felicity Moore makes this comment

   Monday, 31 May 2010

   When I read 'bibs' as a gift for subsequent babies, I remembered my Mum's gift to me with bub #3 - facewashers! And tons of them! She knew what I didn't, which was how useful they can be - they're the perfect size to have a couple folded up in the nappy bag, one f/w always fits in your handbag, one in the car and tons and tons in the linen press at home.

3. Sharnie Kiel makes this comment

   Tuesday, 01 June 2010

   I have 3 beautiful litlte boys, and i remember that we really didn't recieve any new clothes for our 3rd baby,and he started in 6 zeros.. everyone just assumed we had it all. What people didn't think of was that the clothes we had, had been through 2 little boys already,and none that small, our 3rd baby was a different season also. My theory is every baby deserves at least some new clothes, so we had to go out and buy them ourselves. A mother being first time or not will always welcome new clothes for their precious little bundle..

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