I was brought up to eat everything on my plate. If you couldn’t finish your dinner there was no way you could even think about dessert. There were no special meals for any member of the family. We all at the same thing and we all ate together.
In many ways this has served me well. I haven’t found myself in many awkward situations where I couldn’t eat the food put in front of me. I have been able to eat with friends and with strangers, in my own country and in many other countries around the world. I’ve tasted some very unusual menu items, and though I haven’t loved all of them I have certainly given them a try!
My husband on the other hand cannot eat all foods. Though not allergic, he can only tolerate small amounts of dairy and egg. Sometimes I tease him about being a fussy eater – but is it really being fussy if your body reacts to a food?
As a parent I find this a bit of a challenge. I have the eat-everything-on-your-plate philosophy ingrained in me, but I am also aware of my husband’s food intolerances. I don’t want to raise fussy eaters, but I also don’t want to force them to eat a food that makes them feel unwell. It’s a fine line, isn’t it? (Obviously I am not talking about allergies here. There’s no question that children with food allergies should stay well clear of trigger foods! )
So, in our home we have established a leave-one-thing rule. You may leave one thing on your plate if you don’t like it for whatever reason, but only one. At 18mths my son is still a little young for this, but it works very well with my three year old. Green cooked veggies aren’t her favourite, so I often make sure there are two different types of green veg on her plate! She can choose which one to eat and which one to leave. We also insist that the kids try new foods before deciding they don’t like it. If you haven’t tasted it how could you possibly know? And I try to keep track of any food groups which cause reactions in the kids – especially wheat or dairy as there are intolerances in both sides of the family. I’m not paranoid, just keeping a watchful eye.
That’s my parenting plan for sensitively raising unfussy eaters. Where do you stand on this one? Do you insist kids finish everything in front of them? Do you make separate meals for different family members? Do you have a try-it-first rule? Or a leave-one-thing rule? Or any other food rules?! I’m interested in how different parents tackle this issue so please feel free to leave your thoughts as a comment below.
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Catherine Oehlman is a SAHM currently being raised by a terrific toddler and a curious crawler. Her background in primary education, love of the mothering journey and compulsion for writing collide on her SquiggleMum blog. Cath encourages other parents from all walks of life to maximise the time they spend with their children.
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Monday, 12 April 2010
The other one eats everything which is a nice relief.
Monday, 12 April 2010
Friday, 16 April 2010
I too grew up on the "eat everything on your plate as there are kids in other countries who are starving" philoshophy, but we were never forced to eat what we didn't like - we always had to try it first 3 times though.
When my son (4.5 years) says he is full, and there is still a bit to go on his plate, we will get him to eat "x" more mouthfuls. It works for him. My 1.5 year old daughter will eat anything...They have both always been good eaters. My son also doesn't particularly like greens, so I give him the choice of 2 - he must eat one of them and he does so. I think it also helps when the kids have a say in what they'd like for dinner and help with the shopping. I sometimes give 2 options I'm prepared to cook, then let them choose.
Friday, 16 April 2010
DH's nephews have always been cooked separate meals, even now, and it is now evident the damage that can cause - at 19 and almost 18 they still demand the foods that they want for dinner, and refuse to eat what everyone else is...
Saturday, 17 April 2010
As long as I offer food she enjoys she eats...okay, but on the days she doesn't we employ the "one more spoonful" method which works fairly well.
For us, just the fact that she's eating is something of a miracle so we focus on that rather than trying to enforce rules which would do us no good in the long run. That said, as time goes by we're becoming more insistent that she eats a good portion of her meals and that she does try to eat things that are texturally difficult for her.
Wednesday, 05 May 2010
Tuesday, 01 June 2010
Friday, 12 November 2010