Parenting Australia

Seriously sleep deprived

A couple of weeks ago it was plastered all over the net:  mummy-brain doesn’t exist.  Prominent online news sites and blogs ran with slogans like “Mumnesia A Myth” or “Bye Bye Babybrain” as they reported the findings of new Australian research.  Professor Helen Christensen and her research team found no evidence of significant cognitive changes between pregnant women, new mothers, and women without children.  But if you ask me, we’ll still be hearing each other say, “Sorry, I’ve got mummy-brain...” or “I’m such a preg-head!” (not that I used that one myself...)  Here’s why.

None of us ever thought mumnesia was a real condition!!  We are all perfectly well aware of the fact that our forgetfulness and absent mindedness is due partly to hormones, partly to being distracted, and mostly due to sleep deprivation! Saying you have mummy-brain is coded language for I-can’t-sleep-I-can’t-concentrate-I’m-struggling-don’t-judge-me.  That’s quite a mouthful, huh?  Mummy-brain is much easier to say, and is well understood by other mothers.  We cut each other slack when we hear that phrase, for good reason.

The reduced sleep starts early on.  Most of us are afflicted early in pregnancy with increased toilet trips – either because of a perpetually full bladder, or a stomach that returns anything you send down.  Of course as you get bigger, sleeping becomes more uncomfortable, and if cramps, weird dreams, restless legs or fear of sleeping on the “wrong” side don’t wake you, the increased pressure on your bladder will.

On the upside, at least it provides a little training for 2am feeds!  By the time baby arrives we’ve all been practising getting up at that time of the night for months.   It’s not enough though.  Nothing can truly prepare you for those first few crazy weeks with a newborn.  Once we work out which way is up again, some mothers relax into it and go with the sleep-deprived-flow while others work hard to get baby into a routine and sleeping through the night.   Regardless, sleep is forever changed.

You just don’t sleep the same way once you become a mum.  When your kids are unwell, teething, toilet training or moving to a big bed you really don’t sleep the same way.  And you can forget about sleeping in!  (These days I class 7:30am as a sleep in...)  Eventually though, the fog does lift.  Unsettled babies become toilet trained children who sleep through the night in their big beds.  The ironic thing is, just as the fog lifts we go back for baby #2! No sooner has it ended than the cycle of sleep deprivation starts all over again.

As long as women are having babies sleep deprivation will reign.  And as long as pregnant women and new mothers experience sleep deprivation there will be a need for a term that means I-can’t-sleep-I-can’t-concentrate-I’m-struggling-don’t-judge-me.  That’s fifteen syllables.  So I say the phrase mummy-brain will stick around.  It’s only three syllables.  And for pregnant women, preg-head is only two.  

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Catherine Oehlman is a SAHM currently being raised by a terrific toddler and a curious crawler. Her background in primary education, love of the mothering journey and compulsion for writing collide on her SquiggleMum blog. Cath encourages other parents from all walks of life to maximise the time they spend with their children.

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