Parenting Australia

Teeny-agers

11 Votes

Catherine OehlmanTake one sweet baby girl.  Dress her softly with ribbons and bows and mary-jane shoes.  Oooh and aah.  Make the most of it because... it’s all over when she reaches size 2.  Then, apparently, we hit preteen fashion.  When did this happen?  When did we decide to skip childhood and fast track our babes from tots to teens?


This week’s junk mail catalogues are sitting beside me as I type.  Maybe at 31 I’m getting old (??), but this is what I see.  I see pages of little girls dressed in sequins, studs and chains.  I see short shorts and short skirts.  I see leggings under some of those short garments so we can pretend they’re not as short as they really are.  I see knee high boots with leopard print leggings.  And I see slogans that range from arrogant to inappropriate.  (A topic we’ve talked about previously over in the forums - click here). 

In one catalogue I flip from the girls’ fashion pages to the teen and young women’s clothing, and I see exactly the same clothes!  Well, minus the leggings under the short shorts.  What is appropriate for life at 18 is not appropriate at 3.  Three year olds need clothes for cubbies, not for clubbing! Children’s clothing should allow for children’s activities.   Running, climbing, jumping, tumbling, exploring, playing.  That’s what childhood is all about, and it’s important stuff.  
Before you all jump in at the comments section below and tell me I’m overreacting, I know that you can still buy some sensible play clothes at these stores.  My point is that they’re not in the catalogues.  If play clothes are not promoted or encouraged, then neither are playful activities.  And that’s a big problem.  What message are our girls getting here?  I want my daughter to have a childhood full of happy, messy fun!  The last thing I want is for her to sit pretty on the sidelines. 

That said I still think there are times for dressing up.  Nothing is nicer than a party dress on your birthday!  I’m not saying girls always need to dress in dungarees.  I’m just saying that whether they’re dressed up or dressed down they need to be dressed like children. 

Most mothers with young daughters look ahead to the teen years with a sense of dread.  Somehow we have to lovingly guide our girls through those perilous years with their self esteem intact.  That’s quite a challenge in this day and age, and I for one am in no hurry to get there.  My daughter will be four in a few months.  Four is for pigtails and gumboots.  I don’t want to miss that!  Six is for skipping ropes and eight is for bike riding.  There are so many wonderful experiences to have and memories to make when you can count your age on your fingers. I honestly think our daughters would benefit if we got back to embracing childhood and just let our little girls be kids.

What are your thoughts on this topic?  Should I take my Fraulein Maria attitude and go make play clothes out of curtains (ala The Sound Of Music)?!  Or do you think I have a point...?

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Catherine Oehlman is a SAHM currently being raised by a terrific toddler and a curious crawler. Her background in primary education, love of the mothering journey and compulsion for writing collide on her SquiggleMum blog. Cath encourages other parents from all walks of life to maximise the time they spend with their children.

20 Comments

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  1. You're not over-reacting at all. 8 or so years ago, I had no trouble at all buying age appropriate clothes for my daughter. Tracky daks and sloppy joes in winter. T-shirts and shorts in summer. Dresses for special occasions - a few for summer, and one for winter. Even then, winter dressy usually meant jeans and a "nice" (ie. not paint stained) top and cardy.

    I don't see any of these clothes advertised for little ones. It is all designer mini-me outfits, bootlegs and short shorts and denim skirts.

    I am dreading the end of the year, and my daughter's Year 6 farewell. I keep seeing pics of 12 year olds in strapless formal frocks, heels and makeup. Where do they go from there?!
  2. I am 100% with you on this...
    The fact that what is advertised and promoted is so inappropriate and unbalanced sends a strong and in my opinion horrific message to our girls. We've recently shifted to the 'middle size range' 7-12 and to find appropriate clothing is next to impossible... can't tell you how grateful I am for school uniforms at the moment!
  3. All I can say as a mother of an almost 6 year old girl is thank goodness I can sew.
    I totally agree with everything you say.
  4. The harder age is 7/8 plus. I agree totally with you, but I could always find something pretty and sweet for my girls to wear. Now that we are shopping in the size 7-14, there really isn't much that doesn't look 'all grown up already' My girls have stopped wearing dresses :( and are wearing short and T shirts (I make them wear leggings under their shorts if they aren't on the playground.) I encourage them to pick coloured clothes rather than black.
    It's important, it's hard and I so hope I am doing the right thing.
  5. LOVED THIS POST! For so many reasons... because you don't have kids this age yourself and yet you see the same problem with designers and apparel offerings for tweens that we all do! You rock!

    That's why we created iTwixie.com - to celebrate real tween girls all over the globe!
  6. You have a point! And I echo it. So much of the clothes around now is just trashy (have you seen Myers latest for adults !!!!!). Rise above I say. While I pay for the clothes my kids will be wearing nice but practical all the way and nothing scrawled all over it or inappropriate. Kids need to be kids and kids need to play and have fun. Never been a sheep who follows the crowd and dont intend to start now but I have to say it is REALLY hard to buy clothes that fit the criteria. And not just for little girls either - just try looking for clothes that avoid skulls and crossbones or graffiti type prints for 2-3 yo boys ! I LOVE LOVE LOVE the SPROUT brand (available only thru Myers I think) but they stop at size 2 which is sad when both my kids reached the end of the line had to really look hard for other good stuff. Got to love good old BONDS if can get nice and cute still but very much based around the basics great for playing AND age appropriate
  7. You are so right Cath. Let them be kids. I have even made shorts for Tegan because you just couldn't buy any in the shops.
  8. I agree with you Cath. I also find some of the dolls and their clothing inappropriate. I have recently found Groovy Girls which are dressed more in line with your way of thinking.
  9. Cath, I'm 100% with you on this one!! In fact I have my very own bee in my bonnet about this too.
    As someone who does not have children of my own, it's particularly hard to buy clothes for friends' children - because of the slogans, the short shorts, short dresses (etc), even how low cut some of the tops and dresses are!
    Our girls should be encouraged to be the beautiful, inquisitive little people that they are.
    I totally agree... (maybe we'll be making clothes, or maybe even bonnets out of curtains together?)
  10. I completely, 100% agree. Being a year one teacher and coming from a background as a nanny, I've seen so many girls wearing clothes that results in them missing out on the fun that some of their peers are having. Yes, they may look lovely, but are we trying to create a generation that focuses on looks or a generation that focuses on other important life issues, such as having-a-go and making mistakes withoug having to worry about messing up the clothes? I agree, there is a time and place for dressing up, but there is also a HUGE time and place for children to be children and play.
  11. Happy for you to stay on your soap box when it comes to this topic of girls clothing Cath. My husband and I look at some of the clothing on particular dolls too and feel like that is an area of influence on our girls. We are trying to keep our girls little for as long as possible and enjoying the early years of their childhood. No shorty shorts and skirts in this house. In fact it's a tricky thing to get Miss M (3) to wear anything but a dress!!:-)
  12. AMEN! I have such a hard time finding anything appropriate for my six year old to wear. This article says it all.
  13. I TOTALLY agree, as a mum of two girls now aged nearly 10 and 12 I was horrified that when they each turned 6 I had a lot of trouble finding age appropriate clothing for them. Now its difficult at 4 years!! Why do they need to be mini adults or even little teens? I was grateful to PPatch who still offered "little girls" styles to 8- 11year olds, but if I dressed my younger daughter in them even for parties she stood out, as wearing "old-fashioned" clothes and not being "trendy". Since when did girls 8- 11 years old have to worry so much about body image or being fashionable?? Surely there is enough pressure on our children in this media age...
  14. Couldn't agree more Catherine! Let kids be kids!
  15. I fully agree. Only today I took our daughter to a birthday party where she was only one of 3 girls in a 'party dress', the others being in 80's fashion, leggings, sequins and skinny jeans. How sad, when 5 year olds can't put on a pretty dress for pass the parcel.
    We are wonderfully blessed with hand me downs from a few generous people. Yet I sift through the halter neck tops... bikinis, tight skirts... I allow some to stay in the house as dressing up clothes but they stay in the house. At just turned 5 we battle with our daughter trying to explain why we won't allow her to have the make up sets she's been given for her birthday. If she wants her face painted I happily make her into a butterfly or whatever she desires, but I am not going to make her look like an 18 year old heading out to the bars.
  16. I agree wholeheartedly, Cath! Let kids be kids is a message I often tell my clients. Children don't want or need the pressures of fashion, and as you point out, "fashion clothes" are often impractical for children's play.Kids grow up fast enough already, without being pushed along to teenagerhood. Childhood is not an interim period, preparation for life. Childhood IS LIFE. We ought to value it in the moment.
  17. I am absolutely with you on this one Cath... why it is so cool to make our little girls look like all grown up girls is beyond me. Perhaps we are still enjoying 'dress-ups' - except this time it's on our children, not ourselves.
    I love the baby whisperer's saying "Start out as you mean to go on". At 15 are we still going to be happy to send our girls out with mini-skirts, boob tubes and crazy heels or boots? Perhaps by that time we will realise how inappropriate this is as we envisage the disasters this kind of clothing can instigate.
  18. Catherine you have made some totally valid points and this is something which, as a mum of an almost 5 year old, irks me as well. Kids should remain children for as long as possible - from their behaviour through to their clothing in my opinion. Thanks for posting this because now at least I know I am not alone in my opinion.
  19. I totally agree with you.

    And you do dress your kids in age appropriate clothes they become 'different' to every other child. I got accused by a friend of not letting my son grow up by not buying him clothes with skulls or miniture versions of mens clothes with chains and studs on them.

    I am shocked that in most department stores I cannot buy my son a plain singlet that does not have the latest flash in the pan logo on it. (excluding Best n less)

    I also loved to dress my son in cute little rompers and fancy singlet suits. However they usually only went up to size 1 and that was pushing it. Not jeans and t's with stupid comments on them. Skulls, bad boy, stix n stones, emo clothes the list goes on. I guess unfortunately if people don't buy them they won't sell them and vice versa.

    I have spent many an hour online trying to find cute clothes for my boy that don't aren't copies of what men and teens are wearing.
  20. Really a good one. Thanks for sharing the post.

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