Parenting Australia

My Evolution of Valentine's Day

Valentine’s Day. What do those two words conjure up for you?

As a 35-year-old wife and mother of two it means something very different to me to now than what it meant when I was 17 and embarrassed my then boyfriend by having a single rose delivered to him at school.

A lot has happened in those 18 years to change my idea of Valentine’s Day. I’ve been married (twice), had two children, travelled, lived in a number of homes in Australia and England, worked at a number of jobs, set up a business, lost and put on weight and the list goes on.

Johanna Baker-Dowdell

The reason I’m telling you all this is to explain the reasons behind my Valentine’s Day feelings. I love having a day set aside to spoilt my partner and be spoilt. Yes the day is consumer driven, but I’m a romantic so it’s right up my alley.

With two young boys it makes it hard to be spontaneously romantic, but we’ve decided it’s up to us to find those tiny titbits of romance that keep the spark lit through the manic collection of minutes, hours and days that make up our current life together.

My lovely husband told me last night he was planning a candlelit dinner when the boys had gone to bed that needed to dress up for. That sounds wonderful. Once upon a time I would have wanted to go out somewhere special for dinner or be smelling the sweet scent of pink roses, but his dinner idea sounds just perfect. As long as we are acknowledging the day with special time together I am happy.

That is what Valentine’s Day now means to me – no fancy dinners, roses or chocolates, but undisturbed and special time with Harvey. Of course I would never say no to those things – what self-respecting girl would? – but the chance to remember what it is like to be a couple in love is what I need for February 14.

This time last year we had a newborn and I woke up on Valentine’s Day feeling quite ill (I had retained placenta from the birth so was on antibiotics and told to rest), and I was hoping for a bit of fuss. When I realised there would be none the tears started – I was feeling tired, unwell and needed some acknowledgement that this day was more than every other day. It was then I realised what was important to me – I was missing our time together as a couple. Harvey obviously listened because he has planned exactly that for Valentine’s Day 2010 – our sixth together.

What does Valentine’s Day mean to you?

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Johanna Baker-Dowdell is mum to two boys – Noah and Ethan – and combines looking after them with her work as a blogger, journalist, writer and public relations consultant. She owns and manages Strawberry Communications which started small in the third bedroom, but has grown into its own office space (in the converted garage).

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