In-Between Mums

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I loved teaching, but resigning was the right thing for me to do when my daughter was born in 2006 as I knew I wanted to be at home with her full time. Over the next twelve months the majority of my mum-friends slowly returned to work, but I was happy with my choice. Mostly! Two and a half years later we added a baby boy to our family. And I’m still home full time. Well, kind of.

There have long been two groups of mums. The stay-at-home-mothers (or SAHM) and the working mothers. Recently a third group of mums have come into the picture and seen rapid growth. These women are in-between mums, seeking to find a balance that works for them and has elements of both worlds. They straddle both camps by working from the home, hence their title of work-at-home-mothers (or WAHM).

There are some amazing WAHMs out there. Many of them have online businesses and work predominantly from their computers. Some sell products, often made by their own hand. Others sell their own skills in designing, copy writing, coaching, photography and more. Some WAHM capitalise on their BC career (before children) while others try their hand at something completely new. There are other in-between mums too, like those who work part time during school hours, mums who “help out” with the family business, or mums who choose party plan type selling and book around their children’s schedules.
While I’m still not sure I’d call myself a WAHM, I’m definitely an in-between mum and that seems to suit me perfectly. I don’t want to work outside our home. I don’t want to return to the classroom while my kids are still little. But I do want something that’s for ME. I do want to use my skills in positive ways. I do want to keep growing, and learning, and striving. I do want to hone my writing skills. I do want a sense of achievement.
And so I do this. I write for my own blog at SquiggleMum and for this blog here at Parenting Australia, I write guest posts and columns for other blogs, I write for magazines and publications online and off, and I love it. To be honest I don’t get paid for most of it, but income isn’t my primary motivation for writing. I’m building readership, profile, and the writing career I’d like to have in a few years time (eventually I’ll need to contribute to the family income again). Some days I don’t get to write because being a Mummy always comes first, but as I don’t “work” in the usual sense that’s ok! So what does that make me? I could call myself a mum-who-works-at-home-for-free (MWWAHFF?!) but I think I’ll stick with in-between mum. That works for me. What works for you?
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How do you define yourself? A SAHM? A Working mother? A WAHM?? Or something in between, like Cath? Feel free to leave a comment below...

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Catherine Oehlman is a SAHM currently being raised by a terrific toddler and a curious crawler. Her background in primary education, love of the mothering journey and compulsion for writing collide on her SquiggleMum blog. Cath encourages other parents from all walks of life to maximise the time they spend with their children.

16 Comments

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katepickle makes this comment

Tuesday, 02 February 2010

I'm an 'in between' too!
I know I am not going to back to even part time work (though one day I may do the odd fill in day teaching preschool) until all our kids are at school... but I still feel the need to use my brain for something other than parenting. So I dabble in this and that, here and there....

I don't think of myself as a WAHM because I am not really trying to earn any set amount of money from what I do, nor do I feel particularly 'professional' about it. I just dabble! Though I do enjoy the little bits of income here and there, I mostly enjoy how much I have learnt, and am still learning.
Narelle Nettelbeck makes this comment

Tuesday, 02 February 2010

I am lucky enough to run a Family Day Care Service from my home 4 days a week. My boys are 8 and 4 and I've run my service for 10 yrs now. I've been home with the boys full time whilst earning a good second income for our family.
It's certainly not easy balancing work and being a mum but this job has always worked for us. The boys engage in activities and socialise with other children/mums/carers, I like to think they have the best of both worlds!!

I'm an amature author too and I enjoy writing whenever I can! I'm about to study this year though so my writing will take a bit of a back seat for 2010.
Michelle makes this comment

Tuesday, 02 February 2010

I'm a Writing, Studying, HomeSchooling Stay At Home Mum ...WSHSAHM...
Great post.
SquiggleMum makes this comment

Wednesday, 03 February 2010

Kate - we are so similar my fellow dabbler

Narelle - you are remarkable. I don't think I could do the Family Day Care thing and you are amazing for juggling it with your own boys.

Michelle - My acronym sounded like a wicked laugh MWWAHFF, but yours sounds very gangsta WSHSAHM. No wonder we end up saying "just a mum". Every other title is so complicated!! LOL
JohBD makes this comment

Wednesday, 03 February 2010

You are all seriously multi-talented ladies! I was an in-between mum until about six months ago and I still like knowing I can make my business hours work around my kids when I'm still needed as Mum.
Elvira makes this comment

Wednesday, 03 February 2010

I am working 5 hrs in the office or on the road then in between spending time with 3 children 6, 3 and 10mnths. Then at 9PM when they go to bed I work from home again. It is very tirering and I am over it. I've been trying to think of a business idea that will make good $ and give me more time to spend with children. It drives me crazy that I can not come up with something. However if I do not soon I am going to loose it one day!
Amanda makes this comment

Wednesday, 03 February 2010

I am happy to be a SAHM and really hope to be for a long time to come. The other things I would like to do down the track involve volunteer work. My heart is still very much in kids ministry.

I love your in-between mum lifestyle Cath!
janmary, n ireland makes this comment

Thursday, 04 February 2010

I am definitely an in-betweener!

My jewelery and photography and digi-scrapping provide a little income, a creative outlet, and some welcome "me time" when the kids are at school, but it will always be second to my family - and I am fortunate that financially we can afford this "luxury".
SquiggleMum makes this comment

Thursday, 04 February 2010

@Joh - you're one multi-talented mama yourself!

@Elvira - wow, you're really doing it tough at the moment. Hang in there mama, and I hope you find a solution soon that works for you and your precious family. ((hugs))

@Amanda - with you on the volunteer work. There's a whole lot of stuff I do with MOPS Australia and with my own church. All comes under the "in-between-mum" banner too I think. Your kids are blessed to have you home with them.

@JanMary - thank you for sharing your "in-between" story from Ireland! I love that we can be half a world away yet have so much in common as mothers.
Kathy makes this comment

Thursday, 04 February 2010

I'm a WAHM in a more traditional mould, I guess - I work 12 hrs a week from home, but doing what I did BC (government policy adviser). I'm just lucky that my employer agreed to it! The steady and reliable income is very nice, and it's the right balance for us.
Loreena makes this comment

Thursday, 04 February 2010

A totally in between mum here too! I've been a dabbler but have finally decided to go with skills I had before children and started my own business that allows me to work from home. I do online marketing, SEO and design as well as a little photography thrown in! If I do need to go and see clients I do that on my husband's day off or evenings when he finishes.

I always knew I wanted to stay at home with my kids who are turning 7, 5 and 3 this year. It can be very tiring, stressful and demanding, but I wouldn't have it any other way
Red Dirt Mummy makes this comment

Thursday, 04 February 2010

I think I've been all of them at one point. To be honest I found being a WAHM the hardest - trying to fit work around the kids, meet deadlines, get dinner on the table, etc, it just about did my head in! At the moment I'm trying to be a part-time time working mum and work around kindy days but I have a fab dad who has just retired and lives between us and school. He's offered to help out and I'm taking him up on it I blog because I love but when the kids see me on the computer they tell each other that 'mummy's working' LOL
Sarah makes this comment

Thursday, 04 February 2010

It's funny. I am a WAHM, but I have never thought of myself as that. Maybe it is because I think my 'work' fulfills and satisfies me in ways that child-rearing couldn't. I do however love being at home and being able to 'fit' my work around my kids (although that is getting harder!)
rizoleey makes this comment

Saturday, 06 February 2010

I have put down to go back to work a couple of days a week teaching so Im a Casual Working Mum / Part Time Mum CWMPTM now I guess. Still feels like a full time mum though, the work never stops. I do make sure though that my 16 month old is with his father when I am working. When he is closer to two I might look into child care, but I would rather wait until he can speak.
Helen makes this comment

Sunday, 07 February 2010

I loved this post - sums it all up really, I never know what to say to that question 'what do you do?' well, I am a mother and only have three hours, three times a week child free. In that time, in between and in the witching working hours of 9pm and 2am I am holistic fertility and pregnancy specialist, an internet marketing consultant to small businesses, oh and I am about to launch my own baby massage video. So not much really! I'm a WorkEveryMinuteICanMum WEMIC at the moment but I am hoping this mad period will lead to an easier time one the launch is over! I have a fab australian designer working on my new blog theme but my new business is at www.newstorktimes.co.uk and I hope to be launching in Oz very, very soon! Thanks Helen x
liz makes this comment

Thursday, 18 February 2010

i am a proud stay at home mum of 4 wonderful boys (9,8,6,&2) who often feels looked down on because i chose to stay at home (to not do paided work)..at times i help with our family business anywhere from office paper work, payroll or errands girl..but i avoid it as much as possible...i gave up my teaching career because i wanted to be a stay at home mum but it seems that i need to be more to be valued...quiet strange how we mums judge each other..i think you are all amazing women chosing your own path and believe it or not as a stay at home mum i feel just as busy, just as stimulated and just as satisfied with my choice as you all do...only i never feel guilty for not being there for my kids or not spending time with them..but like all mums i find something to feel guilty about like not splitting myself into 4...ha ha