Parenting Australia

The Advice You Didn’t Know You Needed

One of the problems with having a baby is that everybody else has either done it or they know someone who has done it, so it makes EVERYONE an expert on your pregnancy and baby.

Not being the most maternal person in the world (I didn’t even know how to hold a baby properly before I had one myself), I sought advice from everyone who was happy to offer it to me while I was pregnant. That is, until I realised that tactic was not the best idea I’d ever had in my life. I was overwhelmed with pieces of information I never knew I needed to know - and all these helpful little snippets of advice contradicted each other. How was anybody supposed to make sense of it all?

Johanna Baker-Dowdell

Some of my favourites (sarcasm intended):

• The way I was carrying the baby (no real bump, just big all over) meant it was a boy, but the Chinese conception horoscope said it was definitely a girl (this happened both times and we have two boys)


• You feel great bursts of energy from Week 16 or so (didn’t happen to me in either pregnancy), or from someone else - you will be very tired so you need to sleep as much as possible, including having an afternoon sleep when you get home from work (I was tired, but not that tired!)


• If you sleep on your stomach you’ll squash the baby (the more accurate reason for not doing this is that you end up flailing around like a beached whale!)


• The nesting urge gets very strong in the third trimester and you start cleaning the whole house in readiness for the baby’s arrival (my cleaning habits stayed the same as always – I just did what was necessary and nothing more).

These little titbits were just a taste of what Harvey and I had to contend with for months while we waited for Noah to arrive. That was before we were even parents!

Within days of becoming parents, midwives had contradicted each other on the way to wrap a newborn, the correct breastfeeding technique, what was making him cry so much, why he wouldn’t sleep and it went on and on. Sleep deprived and confused we didn’t know what was going on and wanted to get back to our house for some peace and quiet so we could get to know our little man without everyone else’s opinion.

In the end we thanked every well-meaning person for their advice, sifted it through our brains and took out of it what we thought was helpful (if anything).

Of course it all started again when Ethan was born earlier this year, but we knew better what to expect this time and were prepared for the endless offers of advice.

So here is my piece of advice (of course I had to offer something!): every baby is different and you know your baby better than anyone. Midwives and medical professionals are experts with specifics, but you know what each cry, look and smile means.

What pieces of advice were you offered while pregnant or as a new parent?

___________________________________

Johanna Baker-Dowdell is mum to two boys – Noah and Ethan – and combines looking after them with her work as a blogger, journalist, writer and public relations consultant. She owns and manages Strawberry Communications which started small in the third bedroom, but has grown into its own office space (in the converted garage).

Add Comment

Name

Email (will not be published)

Personal Web site/Blog URL

Subject

Comment

• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 

Enter the letters you see in the image.

Click to get a new image.