When Is The Right Time For School?

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When Is The Right Time For School?

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Johanna Baker-Dowdell School hasn’t been a huge issue in our household to date, but it is something Harvey and I have started discussing recently because Noah is now three-and-a-half years old.

As he turns five at the beginning of May 2011, we have the option of starting Noah at school in the months preceding his fifth birthday, or leaving it a year and sending him when he is a few months off turning six.

Harvey and I have both had this discussion, albeit informally, with Noah’s early childhood teachers at day care as well. As Noah is quite shy and introverted in new situations, both teachers suggested he might benefit from having that extra year before starting school.

Johanna Baker-Dowdell
They said he would be more mature and have extra skills if he started later, making it easier for him to make the transition from being at home and attending day care two days per week.

Obviously we still have at least a year to make this decision, but it is one that could be quite important I think. My mum said she started my younger brother at school a year later and it made a big difference to him. With a June birthday he was always one of the older students within his group of friends – something that made a huge difference when he got his provisional driver’s licence at 17 and started driving his friends around in his car. On the other hand, I was born in December and so was often one of youngest in my group of friends. It was never an issue for me though.

This brings me to wonder about the differences between boys and girls. I don’t have a daughter, but I notice my friends’ daughters are far more sure of themselves in social situations than Noah is. Our visit to a new park yesterday is a case in point. The local council upgraded the old, tired park that was within walking distance of our house, and the grand opening was yesterday. Harvey and I set off with Ethan in the pram and Noah holding my hand to walk to the park.

Noah was very excited, as we had watched the park being built for the past few months. He had been there several times before it was rebuilt, but it was so run down he got frustrated with the broken equipment and we always came home earlier than expected. We’d told Noah the park was going to be new and full of exciting play equipment, so he was running along beside me in anticipation as we got closer.

But as we turned the corner he saw hundreds of children and their parents in ‘his’ park and withdrew immediately, grabbing my hand and mumbling about going home. Of course we kept walking and suggested Noah play on the slide and in the sand pit (his favourites), but the sheer volume of people overwhelmed him and we were on our way home again after about 20 minutes.

This made me think he would probably be the same when he started school. Like I said, we don’t have to make this decision for a year, but I’ll be watching with interest how Noah’s social skills develop in that year.

When was your child ready for school? How did you know it was the right time?

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Johanna Baker-Dowdell is mum to two boys – Noah and Ethan – and combines looking after them with her work as a blogger, journalist, writer and public relations consultant. She owns and manages Strawberry Communications which started small in the third bedroom, but has grown into its own office space (in the converted garage).

7 Comments

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Belinda Lindhardt makes this comment

Monday, 12 October 2009

I have held my oldest back this year, he is 6 in January so will be starting next year alot later than his mothersgroup /last year kindy friends all who are a year ahead of him. but honestly it was the best thing i could have done to hold him back. I debated whether to send him or not, the kindy teachers i dont think wanted to sway me either way but once i told them my decision they all told me it was the right thing to do.
Now towards the end of this year he is ready to start learning, he is doing better drawing MUCH better concentration, better social skills he is much more ready than he would have been had i sent him at the beginning of the year. Best of all he is really excited about it, wants to learn more, i think he will participate better in the classroom etc. he has also had some great bonding time together with his brother over the year, had he been in school they would have missed that probably wouldnt be as close as they are now.
rizoleey makes this comment

Monday, 12 October 2009

We dont have a choice anymore in QLD. They changed to a june 30 cut off and all children born within a 12 month period are sent regardless of ability. I think this makes it easier as a parent, you can choose if your child goes to prep or not but if they dont go to prep they go straight to grade 1.

When I was younger I was always a little bit older than my friends and it was horrible being a girl and older. The fact that I could drive for 3 months before some of my friends or drink for a couple of months before my friends did not make up for years and years of having to compete in running races with the kids in the year above. This did nothing for my selfesteem. I hated being older. I felt like a stuck out, so for the most part in sporting events I didnt have ago.

I hope this helps
JohBD makes this comment

Monday, 12 October 2009

This is another perspective I hadn't considered rizoleey, because I was younger. It does show the differences between boys and girls because I am going off my brother's experiences in the same boat as you.

I've heard both sides of this and I think I will continue to be unsure. I suppose if we didn't have the choice that would make it easier though.
Susan @ Reading Upside Down makes this comment

Monday, 12 October 2009

All three of my children have birthdays in April or May. The older two, a boy and a girl, are at school and with both we waited the extra year to send them. The youngest, a boy, will be starting school next year, once again we have waited the extra year.

From my experience with the classes of my older two, I think girls integrate socially more easily and the extra year doesn't seem to make as big a difference. With boys, I can still pick the younger boys in my older son's class (he is in year 4 now) as they continue to not quite fit in. I couldn't tell you which girls are the younger/older ones.

All three of my children are quite bright and academic concerns were never part of our considerations with holding them back. I have no regrets with waiting with the older two and think that they are more confident and settled at school and in their friendships because I waited the extra year.
Leanne makes this comment

Wednesday, 14 October 2009

We sent our 6 year old daughter to school early - she turned 5 in May of her first year of school. She has made lots of friends, excelled with her school work and there have not been any major problems at all. Obviously, every child is different but I think there should be less pressure on parents to hold their children back. A boy from our mother's group went to school at the same time as my daughter and has also settled in really well and excelled.

There seems to be a lot of pressure to hold kids back to give them 'an advantage'. Is this just another sign of competiveness with parents? Who care if your child is at the top of the class in their early years at school? Studies show that the advantage of age is lost by year 4. School is fun and stimulating. There are obviously times when children are not ready socially, but I think those cases are more rare than we would be lead to believe.
rizoleey makes this comment

Thursday, 15 October 2009

I must admit if I had a boy and had the choice that you have I would probably hold off, especially now that studies are saying that boys should be going a year later. Most of the boys in the area probably will start a year later.
JohBD makes this comment

Friday, 16 October 2009

Belinda thanks for your insightful comments. It makes complete sense for us to start Noah a year later when I can see all these logical points.

Susan your experiences through several years of watching show exactly what I had suspected, but had no evidence until now. Thank you.

Leanne you make a very valid point. I, too, think parents can be a bit competitive at times. Your comment makes me wonder how much easier it would be if we could 'try before we buy' so to speak!

Rizoleey, when I mentioned my blog on Twitter the best comment I has was not to think about the beginning of Noah's education, but the end at the HSC when he would need maturity to get through. It really resonated with me.