Parenting Australia

By My Own Self

My three year old daughter is fiercely independent. She has been from a young age, and I suspect she always will be. “I can do it by my own self!” has long been a phrase heard in our house.

I tried to toilet train my daughter. Really I did. At around age 2 she seemed to be ready, and that suited me just fine as I was about six months pregnant with our second child. I knew that life would be so, so much easier if I had only one child in nappies! Friends told me I was being ambitious, but I still wanted to try. She was dry overnight, every night, and she definitely knew when she needed to go.
Catherine Oehlman

Despite my best efforts, it just didn’t happen. She wouldn’t “go” while sitting on the toilet or the potty, and insisted on standing up instead! After all, with a nappy on you don’t have to sit down. You don’t even have to stop what you’re doing. Or sit still.

My due date loomed closer, and I conceded defeat. I figured I might as well give up, admit that she wasn’t as ready as I had thought, and try again when the baby was a few months old. So of course, two weeks before her baby brother was born, she decided to toilet train herself. Typical. She announced one day that she was going to do wees. On the toilet. By her own self. And that was all there was to it.

When her baby brother came home from hospital she did regress a little, but I was ready for that. Here are some things I found helpful during this phase:

• Training pants – I didn’t really want her to go back to nappies during the day, but these offered just a little bit more protection from accidents. We had good quality terry towelling ones in bright colours.


• Pull Ups – disposable pull-up nappies are expensive, let’s face it. It was a cost I was willing to pay though for just a short while. They got us through a few special occasions (like when my daughter was flower girl for a wedding not long after I gave birth) and sleepovers at Nanna and Pa’s.


• Reward charts – there are a few good resources around to help, but I made my own. I always believe in making rewards relevant so I created “Stickers for Knickers!” We went to the shops together and my daughter picked out some knickers with pictures she loved. We put the sticker chart above the toilet in the bathroom and rewarded successful toileting attempts with stickers. Ten stickers equalled a new pair of knickers! This really worked for us.


• A “no big deal” attitude – I tried not to make a fuss of accidents. It just meant no sticker. I said things like, “No big deal. I’m sure you’ll get a sticker next time.”

Toilet training is one of those things that all kids do in their own time. There’s no prize for having the first toilet trained child in your mother’s group so try not to get too hung up on it! Just look for signs of readiness in your own child, and find ways to help them through the process without losing your own sanity. And don’t forget that it might be a case of one step forward, two steps back if anything major is going on in your life, like moving house or introducing a new family member. Toilet training can be tricky, but before you know it they’ll be doing it by their own self.

Share how you managed toilet training in your house in the comments box below.

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Catherine Oehlman is a SAHM currently being raised by a terrific toddler and a curious crawler. Her background in primary education, love of the mothering journey and compulsion for writing collide on her SquiggleMum blog. Cath encourages other parents from all walks of life to maximise the time they spend with their children.

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