Who Likes Surprises?
Sure there’s a part of me who would like to have had a girl to do girly things with, like shopping and dressing up in pink, but having seen the way my two sons respond to each other and are interested by the same toys I see great benefits to having two of the same sex. I’m sure they will be great friends as they get older (and get into an equal amount of trouble together).
So this brings me to my subject for this week – finding out the sex of your baby at ultrasound. Throughout both pregnancies family, friends and strangers constantly asked Harvey and I if we were finding out if the baby was a boy or girl. I’ve always liked surprises so I didn’t want to know until they were born. Harvey was definite he didn’t want to know during our first pregnancy, but I expected him to be more curious the second time. However, he was just as certain as I was that he didn’t want to know until the day our baby was born. Harvey came with me to both 20-week ultrasounds when we could have found out the sex of our babies. As soon as we stepped into the room and our ultrasound technician introduced herself during our first pregnancy, Harvey blurted out that we didn’t want to know the sex. He was so definite that he didn’t want her to tell us by accident, that he made certain she knew our thoughts on finding out. He was a bit more relaxed when we attended our second 20-week ultrasound while pregnant with Ethan. When the technician asked if we wanted to know, we both calmly said no thanks. She said that was uncommon in her recent experience, and liked our reasons for waiting. Besides wanting a wonderful surprise after going through labour, my other reasons for keeping something unknown was the fact we already knew so much about each child before their births. We were pretty certain we knew when they were conceived, knew approximately when they would be born and that they would be named from the handful of favourites we’d selected. Of course we didn’t know what they would look like – the colour of their eyes, shape of their face, if they had hair or not and what colour or whether they would share the same physique, but part of the anticipation of our sons’ births was not knowing who we would meet at the end. I’ve known lots of couples who found out their baby’s gender at the ultrasound, and others who have asked the technician to write the sex on a piece of paper, or select a pink or blue jelly bean, and put them into a sealed envelope. I’ve also heard of one parent being told and keeping it a secret from the other. We all have our reasons for finding out or not. One of the added benefits to not knowing the sex of either baby was Harvey being the one to tell me. After the emotional experience of labour, there was such joy in his face both times he told me we had a son. It was a beautiful moment we shared after the ordeal of giving birth, and as we savoured it we both imagined how our family would change with one, and then two sons. Did you or would you find out the sex of your baby/ies? I’d love to know your reasons for why or why not. Share your responses in the comments section below. ___________________________________ Johanna Baker-Dowdell is mum to two boys – Noah and Ethan – and combines looking after them with her work as a blogger, journalist, writer and public relations consultant. She owns and manages Strawberry Communications which started small in the third bedroom, but has grown into its own office space (in the converted garage). 9 CommentsFeedAdd Comment |
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With two young boys I often get asked the question, “Are you going to try for a girl?” My answer is always “no”. Besides the fact we are happy, and consider ourselves very lucky, to have two healthy children, I wasn’t too fazed about our children’s genders.
Monday, 21 September 2009
Monday, 21 September 2009
Monday, 21 September 2009
Tuesday, 22 September 2009
Tuesday, 22 September 2009
One radiography practice we went to in Sydney had a sign up saying they would not tell the sex of the baby without a letter signed by the family doctor or obstetrician. People must get quite hot under the collar about it.
Tuesday, 22 September 2009
When my son was born, I was so exhausted after a long labour that I held him in my arms and completely forgot to check what gender he was! After a short period, my obstetrician said with a smile: "why don't you tell us whether you have a boy or a girl!"
I was happy to leave it until the birth. However, I am pregnant again, and this time I have decided I would like to find out my baby's gender ahead of time. We will know in a few weeks. I can't say why I've changed, I guess I'm just a bit more impatient this time! My son definitely wants to know if he's getting a baby brother or sister, too.
Tuesday, 22 September 2009
Meredith that's amusing people need a signed letter. It must be a contentious issue!
Tracey congratulations! Maybe you can share with us your baby's gender when you find out!!!
Thursday, 24 September 2009
Monday, 28 September 2009
Tiffany sorry I missed you last week. I don't love my boys any less because one of them wasn't a girl either! I know some people need to get used to the idea of not having the gender they'd hoped for though.