Parenting Australia

Bullying Parents at Junior Sport

I’ll never forget it, I was 13 years old playing in my first season. We weren’t the greatest team going around in the local U/14B football league but I was still having fun and doing my best.

That all changed at quarter time when one of the parents (my coach) gave me a massive verbal spray. In front of the whole team he expressed his opinion about my performance (or lack of). I was embarrassed, my confidence was crushed and I wished that the ground on the southern wing would swallow me up.

Marty Jonas
Win, lose or draw, we must all understand that junior sport is about fun, exercise, personal growth, participation and enjoyment. However, some adults just don’t get it! We often have the misconception that bullying only happens between peers or at school. This example tells us that bullying can take place beyond the school yard, this social problem even extends to our local sporting fields.

Last weekend you may have seen a typical feral sporting parent on the loose parading the following behaviours...

- Yelling and screaming from the sidelines
- Coaching from the stands
- Undermining the coach
- Disputing the umpires decisions
- Jeering and insulting opposition players
- Urging their children to ‘go harder’ and ‘do more’
- Arguing with other spectators
- Complaining when their child is rested by the coach
- Getting in their kids face and offering ‘expert coaching’ advice
- Setting unreasonable expectations
- Living their lives through their kids (the saddest behaviour of all)

Thankfully most parents attend local sport with a great attitude. A good sporting parent...

- Remembers that kids play sport for fun
- Encourages all participants
- Accepts the umpires decision and teaches their child to do the same
- Teaches their child to settle disputes without hostility or violence
- Never yells at their child for loosing or not ‘having a go’
- Shows respect and appreciation to officials, umpires, coaches, players and other spectators
- Applauds efforts from both teams
- Congratulates all children regardless of the result
- Doesn’t accept or encourage violence or abuse from any member of the sporting community

So when you take Jonny to his next game step back for a minute to assess your behaviour. Encourage your child and other children, accept the result and be grateful that your kid is healthy and able to be involved! There are enough feral sporting parents out there, we don’t need anymore!

So what happened to my footy career after that verbal spray I copped in the U/14's? I kicked on, persevered, played in a positive and encouraging atmosphere (with a new coach), won the best and fairest and played at an elite junior level in the following years. I wasn’t going to let the bullying coach get the better of me!     

What are your thoughts on parents at local sporting events? Leave a comment below...

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Marty Jonas is a high performing school teacher at one of Melbourne’s leading public primary schools. He is also a director of SchoolSelect.com.au, an engaging and exciting schools directory helping parents with the tough decisions that come with selecting the right school for their child. He enjoys graphic design and spends most of his time keeping kids out of trouble and managing his website.

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