Name: Julie
Subject: Feeding/Sleeping issues
We have a boy who is just going on 12 weeks old. From the start he fed 4 hours on the dot. Since having him immunized at 8 weeks he wont go in to a settled routine. He now has 5 to 6 hours in between feeds, hard to settle and if we try to feed him before we go to bed so we can have some sleep ourselves he just screams the house down, doesn’t want it then doesn’t want to go to sleep. He is really colicky as well. We are pulling our hair trying to get him in to a routine that suits all but it just isn’t working.
How long should he have between feeds? We really miss sleeping through the night. He is our second child so we thought it might be easier but feels harder. The 3 year old now wont sleep through the night either, cries out during the night. If he hears his little brother in the morning he wakes up and wont go back to sleep. Some help is desperately needed. Thanks
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Hi Julie,
I appreciate that you are frustrated, confused about your little one’s change in his sleeping/feeding pattern and very tired. There are a few issues to address here.
Please keep in mind that my answer will be fairly general not knowing a lot about your baby’s history or how they are being fed.
- Immunization while necessary can unsettle babies, however the short period of unsettled-ness usually subsides after 10 days. What can happen that prolongs the unsettled-ness is that we provide extra cuddles and assistance with sleeping when they are upset and habits can form quickly. Consider whether your tricks for getting your little one to sleep have changed since before the immunisation. Is baby self-settling to sleep or requiring rocking, walking the floor, a dummy etc?
- If we look at your baby’s uptime/sleeptime requirements in THE DAYTIME we are aiming for 1.5-2 hours of awake time for feeding and playing and between 1.5-3 hours of sleep time. Usually between 7am and 7pm.
- A gentle way to approach your baby’s routine is by following the sleep/feed/play routine. Baby wakes from a sleep and has in your baby’s case 1.5-2 hours of awake time to feed and play. Somewhere in between 1.5-2 hours (but not before and not after) your baby will give you a collection of tired signs and show you they are ready for bed. The awake time is essential for earning the baby’s sleep. They need to get tanked up and worn out in order to sleep well. Floor play is important including tummy time in every up time each day. In this age group have have 1.5-2 hours to get the feed in and also plenty of floor play to help baby feel hungry. Sometimes babies that spend too much time in bouncers, walkers, jolly jumpers, playpens, strollers, swings are not able to earn their sleep or their feeds and then do not sleep well.
- Babies that are put to bed too early or too late will fight sleep which can mimic colic. Particularly an overtired baby. I really encourage you to look at the above issues and see what you can fine tune.
- Burping is usually easier at 12 weeks and colic usually subsides around the same time. I would consider whether your baby still has explosive even frothy bowel motions and a rumbly swollen tummy. These signs can indicate a lactose or cows milk protein intolerance or even allergy. These symptoms start early and do not usually first appear at this age, but could have been mistaken for other problems before. If breastfeeding, you may need to remove dairy from your diet to help your litle one feel better, if formula feeding you may need to change formulas, please see your clinic sister and your GP. Also consider Brauers ’colic relief’ homeopathic drops available from most chemists.
- Try a gentle CD on repeat all night in the baby’s room called ’music for dreaming’ or have it in the hall way to calm the whole house and help the toddler sleep better in the mornings.
- It is normal for a baby to require night feeds at around 11pm, 2-3am and 5- 6am until 9 months of age. If your baby was sleeping through and now is waking for feeds and is drinking well over night this is very normal and they need them. If they are waking and not drinking much but rather using the bottle/breast as dummy they don’t need them. You know your baby best.
- Baby’s go through a stage of ’the age of distraction’ around now where they are very curious and a big sticky beak. This stage prevents them feeding well in the daytime and so then they need to make up for lost daytime feeds in the nighttime! If this is happening, you really need to encourage the floor play and maybe feed in a dark room with no distractions when possible.
- I appreciate this isn’t always possible with a toddler as well, just do your best. The more active the baby is on the floor the hungrier they will be and the quicker they get over this stage. It is common and natural to compare siblings, however helpful to remember they are individuals and will be different. Your parenting style will also be different with two children compared to one. Be kind to yourself and take some time out each week no matter how short. Communicate your frustration with your partner and have a consistent plan that the whole family sticks to.
Best wishes,
Natalie Ebrill RN, CFHN Mother of three
Baby Sleep Consultant 0-5 years
Sleep and Settle
"I want to give you your life back!"
www.sleepandsettle.com.au
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