Parenting Australia

Sleeping problems

Hi
I have a 14 month old boy and they only way he will go to sleep is if put him to sleep. I have tried putting him in bed but he just screams and he won’t let anyone else put him to sleep. Can you help me please?

========================================================================

Hi Kelly,

This is a really common question and one I address every day. Keep in mind my answer may be a little general without a history of your baby or knowing his daily routine. Even though parents approach me with sleep issues, the answer is never just about sleep...it’s also the eating and the playing issues.

Therefore try tackling these issues:
- Make sure your son is eating well. This might sound obvious but many children are not eating enough protein. Each meal should contain some fresh fruit/veggies, some protein (meat, chicken, fish, egg yolks, yogurt, cheeses, chick peas/lentils) and then add bread, cereals, crackers, pasta or rice. A 14 month old does not need any juice, cups or bottles of cow’s milk (only water or 1 glass of cow’s milk before bed before cleaning teeth) packet foods, takeaway, biscuits, custard, formula  or jars of baby foods. He should be eating chopped up versions of family foods and lots of finger food.

- Very active play, NO TV, strollers, shopping trolley’s, car seats (if possible) play pens, swings etc before his day sleep. Play outdoors if the weather is nice. Children who watch TV in the morning fight sleep and don’t have an opportunity to ’earn’ their sleep. A 14 month old definitely doesn’t need TV.

- At 14 months your son should be ready for 1 day sleep around 12 midday. If you are putting him down before this time he may not be ready and this could be contributing to him waking early (if he is). Also bed by 7-7.30pm at night.

- Your son seems to be the boss at the moment because he needs your assistance to go to sleep and screams at you if you try allowing him to self-settle. It is important to understand that if you have been putting you son to sleep for many week/months/ a year that he isn’t going to agree quickly or peacefully to going to sleep by himself. We need to acknowledge that he is an intelligent and sensitive little boy who won’t know we are about to change the routine and of course will argue and scream at you. This has worked at getting you to give in before and so he will keep trying it until you give in this time.

- Knowing he is going to fight, you then need to apply a strategy that you feel comfortable with consistently and persistently NEVER GIVING IN UNTIL HE ’BELIEVES’ YOU. He is only relying on the rules you are giving him. So if you decide to change the strategy you are currently using and apply a new one you cannot afford to give in. He needs time to forget what you used to do and understand the new rules. It is important you feel comfortable with the new strategy so you will stay strong and do it day and night.
- He needs to be put in the cot and told it’s sleep time, leave the room.
- Only wait 1 minute anytime outside the room if he is upset.
- If upset return after the minute and lie him down tell him again it is sleep time then leave. 
- Repeat as necessary.

- Yes he will scream, yes he will fight you, he needs your frequent reassurance if he is upset, but be ’brief and boring’. The longer you stay in the room the longer he will take to go to sleep. It’s not about you putting him to sleep; it’s about how he puts himself to sleep.

- Make sure he stays in the cot until he is at least 2 years old.

- Children under 2 years need the security and comfort of the sides of the cot. Putting a child in a big bed under 2 years makes them feel like an adult sleeping on a balance beam.

- No night lights, lullabies, dummies, pillows, toys in the cot/room.

- Make sure he is wearing a sleeping bag. He would be mobile in the bed, not tucked in and waking cold at 4am without it.
For a detailed step-by-step plan you can put in place at the very next sleep and tools to monitor your progress visit www.sleepandsettle.com.au
’12 months and over in a cot Sleep Package’ $27.
Best wishes,

Natalie Ebrill RN CFHN Mother of three
Baby Sleep Consultant
Sleep and Settle
www.sleepandsettle.com.au

Add Comment

Name

Email (will not be published)

Personal Web site/Blog URL

Subject

Comment

• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 

Enter the letters you see in the image.

Click to get a new image.