Parenting Australia

Our relationship was hijacked by life!

2 Votes
MarriageRefIs your relationship in need of pampering?

Our lives consist of many roles, responsibilities, demands and concerns. As a parent, husband, business owner, friend and family member, I know (like you will) that life can become complicated, rushed and draining on our energy, attention and enthusiasm. Back when my wife and I started dating about 11 years ago, we devoted our time to our respective work and divided the remainder (of our time and energy) quite easily between our pastimes, our passions and our intimate relationship. (our universe was about us and we enjoyed the bubble of fun we made for oursleves)

We had a ball, our life was simple, we fell in love, got married and built a beautiful life together. In love, best friends and in absolute bliss; we decided to start a family and went about adding a house, my wife sold her textile business and we became immersed in raising one then two lovely daughters. I was working twice as hard and my wife was busy adjusting to a new role as a mother and I as a father. Life had changed!

Time goes by and our children are 6 and 4 years old. My wife and I realised that as the years passed, just about everything about our relationship had changed as we knew it. We had forgotten or been too busy to pamper and nurture our relationship, we devoted our passions to the children, the home and the business and before we knew it, were living a robotic life of ‘day in - day out’ duties and tasks that raising a family requires. It seemed there was little energy, time or talk left for each-other at the end of each day and we both started to miss the old days like crazy. We were together but not connected like we once were, we knew it, but didn’t know what to do, too proud, too busy or too tired.

We had changed (as people) too! Life does that, it changes you. We wanted to put the fun back and we needed to do something about it, it was time to nurture our relationship, we had to get to know each-other again, talk and share time together, we had to stop, look and listen, so we did and we have our relationship back. It looks different t the one we started with 11 years ago, but it works brilliantly and now our relationship fits us, our life and our desires. It’s easy to say, “we’re too busy to stop and talk” but I can tell you it’s a lot harder to watch your lover become a flat mate as the two of you begin to drift apart over time.

In this day and age, we owe it to ourselves to nurture our intimate relationships and make time to review what’s important, what we need and how we need it. It’s important to get some time back for ourselves and enjoy the things that unite us and fill us up with joy and excitement. Relationships are wonderful places that you and your partner offer and receive certainty, care, love, nurturing, endorsement, friendship and connection and if those things are suffering we owe it to ourselves to find ways to nurture and heal. Don’t let life hijack your relationship. You should never be too busy to stop and pamper each-other.

Here are the five essential stages of Mutual Bliss that we recommend you nurture to ignite the passion, fun and connection in your relationship.
1. Clarity (of must have and must not haves)
2. Love, lust & Liking (the 3 hearts of compatibility)
3. Immunity to Sabotage (become resilient to internal & external issues that ruin relationships)
4. Connection & Communication (mutual understanding – does your partner “get you”)
5. Keeping Your Identity (retaining your unique individuality)

No relationship is perfect, but every relationship can be better.
Andrew runs a Relationship Work Shops called “Relationships that Click” click here for more details or call 02 4369 0589 for assistance.

 

2 Comments

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  1. this is very true. i have two yound children and the baby is hard work crying day and night. You spend all your time caring for the children and at night are so exhausted you don't make the time for each other. We get family and friends to babysit the children overnight at least once a month so we can go on a 'date' making time to spend together.
  2. How this rings true. Thank you for writing this article. After seven years of marriage and two children, the youngest who is to be three this year, my hubby and I realize we have put our relationship last for too long. It's time to up the ante and start booking in dates to get to know each other again and remember what we loved about each other before the children came along.

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