Both adults and children benefit from understanding which behaviours and activities are acceptable in certain environments and which are not. For young children at home and in child care, setting clear, fair and appropriate limits helps adults to guide children’s behaviour effectively. Knowing what is and what is not acceptable also assists children to have some control over their world and what happens in it, and this eventually helps them to develop the skills to manage their own behaviour.
But as most parents of toddlers and young children will realise, knowing what the limits are does not necessarily prevent a child from testing these. An important part of children’s development involves them first gaining an understanding of the ‘rules’ and then beginning to question and often to test these with adults and other children.
Appropriate limits and boundaries in child care
The limits for children in good quality child care services will be chiefly focused on the health, safety and wellbeing of all children in the group. As such, some of the limits set for your child in child care will differ from those you have at home. For example, your three year old may be allowed to move freely between the indoor and outdoor areas of your home as this is quite safe and acceptable. However, safety and supervision requirements in a long day care or a family day care service may mean that children can only move to indoor and outdoor areas at times when child care professionals are able supervise all of the children at one time.
Similarly, some of the limits in child care may not specifically suit your child or family, but may be in place to meet the overall needs of all of the children. For example, some families using a service may use certain words or phrases at home, such as ‘bum’ for ‘bottom’, while other families using the same service may not like this language. In this situation, child care professionals may explain to children and families that some things that are fine to do at home may not be okay for child care. But it is important that you are not made to feel that the parenting choices you make at home for your child are disapproved of.
Although the limits in your child care service should be mainly aimed at keeping children safe, happy and well, there should be opportunities for you to provide feedback and, where possible, to discuss and negotiate the limits for children in your service. Generally, if a limit is fair and appropriate, the professionals and carers at the service should be able to tell you the reasons for the limit, and explain why this is in the best interests of all children. If you disagree with or are unsure of the limits the service has in place, you should certainly be able to raise and discuss your issues.
Limits and boundaries for different ages and stages of development
The limits for children in child care will naturally vary according to their age and stage of development.
For younger children, the child care professionals in your service will take an active role in setting limits and in supporting your child to understand and follow these. Younger children, particularly those in the toddler age group, usually need to have limits that help them to stay safe (eg. ‘no climbing on the furniture’) and assist them to get along with others (eg. ‘we don’t hurt other people’).
For older children, the child care professionals should give your child opportunities to help set some of the limits. Your child should be supported to understand why these are important, and to recognise or predict the consequences of overstepping limits, both for themselves and for others. For example, older children may be involved in setting and monitoring some simple rules for meal times, such as ‘we don’t eat food from other people’s plates’ and ‘we use talking, not shouting voices at meal times’. Involving children in setting limits, and encouraging them to think about why some limits are necessary, can give them a sense of ownership over the rules and encourage them to follow these.
Regardless of your child’s age or stage of development, the child care professionals at your service need to work with your child sensitively and encouragingly to help them to understand and follow limits. Your child should never be labelled as ‘naughty’, or be physically or emotionally punished if they challenge or ignore the service’s limits, and there needs to be an understanding of why children sometimes do this.
Family involvement in setting limits for children in child care
The first step in learning about the limits in your child care service is to find out about their behaviour guidance policy for children. All Accredited* child care services should have a behaviour guidance policy that is current and easily available to families. The policy should give you an understanding of the limits for children in the service and the positive behaviour guidance strategies that will be used to help your child to understand and follow the rules. If you have not been given a copy of your service’s behaviour guidance policy, don’t be afraid to ask for one.
When your child starts in a new service, or moves to a new room, it is helpful to ask the staff who will be working with your child about their expectations of children and the behaviour guidance strategies that will be used. This is also a good time to explain the limits and expectations that are in place for your child at home and to describe what works for you in guiding your child’s behaviour.
Conclusion
Having clear limits and boundaries assists children to understand what is expected of them. Having a balance between clear limits and opportunities for children to push the boundaries is also important as they mature and develop their independence and the skills to manage their behaviour on their own.
* Accredited services have achieved a Satisfactory or higher rating for all the Child Care Quality Assurance standards relevant to their service type. For more information about Child Care Quality Assurance, visit the NCAC website (www.ncac.gov.au), or telephone NCAC on 1300 136 554.
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