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Dear Readers...

Moving from parenting an adorable baby to a defiant toddler was a steep learning curve for me. As soon as my children learned the power of saying ‘no’, I had to learn very quickly how to set limits, boundaries, encourage good choices, wait for those choices to be made and if all else failed resort to time out. Then just as I had overcome the ‘no’ objection they learnt how to say ‘ what if'. For example, I would say ‘don’t run out into the road or you will get run over’ and Em would reply ‘but what if I don’t?'. She is eight now and the ‘what if’s’ are still very much a part of our day. Patience is key with the ‘what if’s’, saying ‘because I said so’ doesn’t cut the mustard. Breathe deeply and take a moment to explain, it will save you a lot angst and time in the long run.

Have a great week!

Jane King
Mother to Emily 8, Cristian 14
Founder of Parenting Australia

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Setting boundaries and limits

What are boundaries?
Personal boundaries are the physical, emotional and mental limits that define you as separate from another person.

What are Limits?
The final, utmost, or furthest boundary or point as to extent, amount, continuance, procedure, etc.: the limit of his experience; the limit of vision

Why do we set Boundaries and Limits
Our role as parents is to discipline (guide with love) our children and assist them to develop healthy self esteem. Setting limits helps your child learn how to act in social situations and how to control themselves, which will be helpful to them throughout their lives. Children need boundaries and limits and ‘test’ them as they want to become more independent. Children need to develop independence, our role is to ensure they don’t stretch limits and behave in an unsafe or unsavoury manner. If we give in, a power shift is created.  ‘Giving in’ will lead to more of the same behaviour.

Exclusive Parenting Australia Offer

Dr. Phil will be bringing his live show to Australia in August for the first time with three Arena dates to be held in Melbourne, Sydney and Brisbane. Parenting Australia subscribers can click here for an exclusive special ticket offer - save $40 off your ticket, bringing it down to just $49!

10 Top Tips for Setting Limits and Boundaries

Be Specific – Do not to use general vague limits like “Be Good!” and “Be Quiet” for example while at the library or appointment don’t just tell your child to “Be Quiet” say “Please show me how good you are by whispering while we are at the library or office”.
 
Offer Choices – Provide a few simple choices for your child as this allows them to make a decision allowing them to make a choice and feel a sense of control. For example “It’s time to get dressed would you like to wear this or would you like to wear that, outfit today?”.
 
Be Firm – You need to be firm with the limits and boundaries that you set. For example telling your child to “Go to your room now!” with a firm tone in your voice and a serious look on your face will show your children that your sticking to the limits and boundaries you have set. If you give responses like “I really wish you would go to your room” gives your child a choice not to comply.
 
Be Positive - Your child will be more willing to do what you have asked if you remain positive.
Be Realistic – Remember the limits and boundaries need to suit the child’s age.

Explain Why – If you can explain why you want your child to do something they will usually more willing to comply with your requests.
Be Consistent -  If you are consistent with enforcing the limits and boundaries you have set your child will learn over time that this is an expected behaviour and will be less likely to resist and push the boundaries.
 

Disapprove the Behaviour – Always remember to disapprove the behaviour and not your child.

Don’t let your emotions get in the way – Try not to let your emotions control your behaviour. Always remember to take a step back and re-evaluate how you are going to deal with the situation. Stop...breathe...continue. 
 

Suggest an alternative – If you restrict what your child wants to do, it’s always helpful to point out an alternative rather than just saying NO!

Does your child love to act, play, tell and perform?

These school holidays atyp has workshops for children from pre-school to teens.
Children attending pre-school are able to participate in short workshops focussing on creative play, drama games and imagination. Workshops for Primary School aged students will encourage them to discover new worlds, make new friends and create freaky characters to tell stories from favourite Children’s books or improvise their own. While High School aged students can take up a playmaking challenge, get their foot in the (stage) door or immerse themselves in the world of Shakespeare.

For more information or to enrol online visit www.atyp.com.au/workshops  or call atyp on 9251 3900.


Early Learning Top Tip - Head Lice
Cover dry hair in conditioner, section, comb with metal lice comb and wipe on tissue to remove all lice and eggs, then wash and dry. Spray dry hair with hair spray before sending your child to childcare or school.

www.costumebox.com.au is the most amazing website if you’re looking for something super cute for a dress up and want to avoid the mainstream options. They are also great for the creatvily challenged among us who don’t know one end of a needle from another, save them to your favourites now!


Winners Announcement
Congratulations to the winners of last weeks competitions. The Paw Paw ointment winners can be found here, and the winners of the 'What I wish I knew before I became a mother' book are here.

Baby of the Month Winner
Congratulations to Lily
our May Baby of the Month.
Lily has won a $200 voucher to spend at Pumpkin Patch.

Every child has the potential to be a successful learner and startSMART can show you how to help your child achieve his or her full potential.
startSMART Education is a new and exciting educational organisation for parents, children and childcare workers promoting literacy and numeracy development from birth to 8 years.

Parent Courses
Assessments for individual children

 Home visits
Personalised programs

Current research based information presented by experienced educators

Special editions of Parenting Australia’s eNews to look forward to

21st June
23rd June
30th June

 Health and Safety
Fussy Eaters
Family Budget

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The content of this article is not intended to replace professional medical advice. Any questions regarding a medical diagnosis or treatment should be directed to a medical practitioner.